FORGIVENESS: It’s Time
By Sally Tippett Rains
This week a famous movie star passed away. She lived a wonderful, long life, but one thing was missing. She got in a fight with a family member and they never resolved it. She told a friend shortly after that person’s death, “I thought things would have changed.”
Sadly, the only way things will change is if we change them. Are you constantly angry at people? Are you mad at one person? Fix it. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
It’s time to forgive. Is there a lot of conflict in your life? Forgiveness can stop the drama.
I used this quote before and I’ll use it again: “Peace is my most valuable asset, and I’m not going to spend it on your drama,” — Creflo Dollar. But if you are holding a grudge, you are spending time on someone else’s drama.
Sometime when we are under a lot of stress (like a pandemic, job insecurity, family illness, etc.) it can change us for a time. We are upset so we look for ways to cope and it could come in the form of lashing out on others, or even tuning others out by spending all our time reading in a book, or looking at a screen– TV or phone. I always say if there is a real person in front of you or next to you, be with them.
Thank the Lord above that you have someone to love, and do everything you possibly can to keep that love. Always expect the best out of them. If they disappoint you, forgive them both outwardly and in your heart. Don’t hold a grudge and don’t always expect the worst from people.
Often when we expect the worse, we take things wrong. We must learn to understand each other and see each other in love.
Instead of family quarrels (or Facebook fights)– why not have forgiveness? Instead of being angry at the person who challenges you on your decisions (boss, friend, loved one)– why not have forgiveness towards them. Lately we are hearing about “systemic racisim”– how about we have “systemic forgiveness.” We could have systemic forgiveness for everything. Forgiveness means “I forgive you for what you have done to me– whether you are sorry or not.”
Real forgiveness is like unconditional love, there are no conditions you merely forgive. Part of you may not want to forgive because that means the other person “wins.” No, it actually means you win, because forgiving sets you free.
Forgiveness is really the only way we can move forward with a happy life, If you stay angry for things that happened last week or even generations before, you are no better than the Hatfields and McCoys. They were a famous group who used to be best friends and then they got in a fight and it was handed down. Soon no one really knew what they were fighting for.
It’s time to forgive.
Are you treating each family member or friend the way you would like to be treated. Tomorrow is not promised. What if this is as good as it gets?
Jack Nicholson said it in a movie, but it’s a good thing to think about. What if this IS as good as it gets? Let’s appreciate what we have at the exact moment we have it.
If you get disappointing news, try to forgive the situation. God will take care of you.
Whether it is a family member, a loved one, a political foe or a cause you don’t agree with, or even a bad diagnosis–it’s time to forgive. Forgive others. Forgive your situation. If you are angry or disappointed with yourself, forgive yourself.
I hope this helped someone this week. It’s not good to live in a world where you feel disrespected. No one can make you feel bad except yourself. Forgive them in your heart and move on to have a great day. Choose Happy.
Bible Verse
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” –Ephesians 4:32, NASB
“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” –Matthew 6:14, NASB
Quotation
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Action Plan
This week let’s make the world a better place– at least in our own backyard.
- Find someone who gets on your last nerve and figure out a way to accept them, forgive them for their actions, and love them.
- Do something extra special for someone you love– someone in your family or a good friend– just to let them know they are special.
- Figure out what is causing you drama and stress and forgive the situation and/or the person causing it.
One Last Thought
I know some of you feel this way:
Sometimes I place such a great weight on my shoulders to be “perfect.” I tell others we should never strive for perfection, we should strive for Excellence, which us doing the best we can. But… I am human and I don’t always follow my own advice.
I want to be the type of mother, wife and friend that my mother was. In my mind, she was the best, and when I don’t measure up to the way I saw her, I sometimes feel I failed. I am sure many of you know what I’m talking about and it may be your mother, your grandmother, or a special mentor. During trying times I wish she was here to guide me to be a better person. I pray to God for forgiveness when I act in ways where I feel she would have done a better job. I pray to help me be better– but then I have to take the time to forgive myself.
I am not my mother and I can’t be her, but I can try to be the best ME I can be. But I must forgive myself for the times I fail– or am perceive to have failed by others– and just keep moving forward trying to live a great life.
You might sometimes feel like you have to measure up to a certain standard, or that you just want to be better, but if you are doing the best you can, forgive yourself and just keep moving forward.
It’s time. Choose Happy.
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Sally Tippett Rains is the author of 13 books including “Choose Happy; Find Contentment in Any Situation.” To find out more about the book CLICK HERE.
She is also the volunteer executive director of Rainbows for Kids and the Content Manager for STLSportsPage.com.
Note from Sally: Many of the photos I use are from you all. Last week I used flowers in a photo by Michele Carter. This week I’d like to thank Tara McMahon for the beautiful jonquils (or daffodils if you call them that.) Any time you have a particularly great picture that would work well for our inspirational messages feel free to send them my way.
If I can pray for you or help you in any way, please let me know.